19 ZUlkaedah

SPF rejected my application today with a letter, stating that i am unsuccessful in my application. Its quite a setback for me, cuz initially i taught that with a diploma, i would easily get into the 2nd interview. But my thoughts aint right cuz I would think they would choose someone who is goin on in NS and also those people who have already ORD. So never mind, Im goin to try again and again when I'm still a government conscript.

People at TGM have already expressed the loss of me when I'm leaving next Tuesday onwards. So many friends have already strating to congratulate me and of course stating the loss of my presence in the kitchen and my joyful mood during work. I feel really sad leaving Mac after 4 years. Eventhough I stayed as Crew all these years, I think i learn quite a number of things, enough to be a Manager. I just love the working environment in Mac cuz Mac is a team based working environment. Means when colleagues are down, u come and make them happy. Also, Im beginning to miss many of the crew. The younglings in the weekends, the aunties in the morning, the funny Indian Crews at night and also the managers (esp the bosses i work with). All have different work attitude but the end of the day, we feel like we are one big family.

Im now starting to take things easy. Im currently going crazy and madly with a kid. She may be a young, innocent girl, but one can know how the feel of love at first sight. Im just waiting for the leading moments as soon as possible, but patiently. Cuz building a relationship out of nowhere needs careful decisions to make the love go strong. Till marriage. Till forever. Most people would give up their relationship at one setback, but a good relationship builds on trust, passion, chemistry and most importantly, to appreciate what each other are doin. Even though your friends might laugh at you for choosing a kid to be ur girlfriend, but in the end you will have the last laugh when she grows up to be a mature and understanding women.

Time to sleep. 4 more working days till I leave McDonalds. Bye bye Tanglin Mall. Bye bye colleagues. Hello HTA!!!

18 Zulkaedah

I swear its goin to be a very emotional NS for me for the next two weeks. Right now, I'm feeling visibily frustrated with everything that goes into my life and I just dunno who should I talk to. I feel that my life only exists in myself and that I am not important or significant to others. Even my closest friend do not know me by heart. Some people even go for the extra mile; taking me for granted.

Im living in a world where i always make people happy by partly solving their problems, be a listening ear. When most of my friends are down, I'm the person to cheer them up, doin everything to uppened their morale. But when they are happy or being granted their wish, they just left me behind all alone waiting for another helpless soul to tumble down the stairs and let me aid them.

I just dun get it. Why I keep making people happy when Im unsatisfied with my own life. EVery single decision I have done ends up in frustration. Frustrations after another. Envying other person's life one by one being happy. Why is life so unfair to me?? Tell me, what should I do to have all my wishes granted?? What should I do??

17 Zulkaedah

Its exactly 2 weeks before I start being a boy-turned-man. I will be starting my NS-hood soon and there seems to be so many things I haven't done before the dreaded day. Many of my work colleagues at Mac have started to ask about when I'm leaving cuz most of them might miss my prescence (and maybe my annoyance?). Also, I fear of not having the free time to spend with my love ones often as i will only be around on weekends. I will miss having the freedom at home whereelse at HTA you will only sit inside ur bunks when u are not doin any training. I will miss chatting where in HTA, there is no wireless network to contact. Mostly, I will miss socialising, where in HTA, u only socialise with ur bunk mates.

Finally after a week full of frustration, found the girl I was looking for. Somehow, I found her profile in one of my Mac friends. There she is and surprisingly she lives in Woodlands too. SHouldnt give too much details about her. All i can give is that.
- She is 17.
- She is working in one of Mac outlets in WOodlands.
- She probably lives around Marsiling area.
- She loves to wear contact lenses.
- She just finish her O Levels.
- She just went through a makeover.

Its a miracle that a makeover can change someone looks but never a personality. SHould do that one day to one of my sisters.

16 Zulkaedah

I'm just feeling bloody frustrated nowadays and it doesnt helps the cause when United suddenly lose to a bottom three team like Bolton. Bolton who were playing their strongest team, frustrated United, without four of their superstars, to a goal to nil. Capitalised in the 14th minute due to a Gerard Pique mistake. United never really got into the game, until Anderson came on in the 62nd minute. But its too late, although Tevez had the best and most agonising chance to level the scores, United fell to their 2nd league defeat. Worse comes to worse, their nearest challengers all won their games tonite and this puts United in the tightest spot.

I still cant get over that agonising Wednesday. If you see my previous three entries, it is about the same person. That same girl. That cute face and decent smile that touched my heart. And I cant help losing the chance to know that person(although I think Carlos Tevez must be feeling more frustrated than me). Im also beginning to hallucinate her image when I am alone. This isnt the feeling of loving someone. This is the feeling of infatuation. The feeling when you felt you could get something on but in the end, you just gave it a miss just because you think she isnt the right one.

I also cant help it buy feeling a big sense of envy towards some of their friends. Eversince raya passed, some of my friends are beginning to find love. Lets call it Love After Syawal, when you find love after going visiting with your friends. Somehow, you fell in love at the first sight with your friend's brother, sister, cousin, uncle. WHoever it is. I think some people are just plain lucky to find a suitable partner at the right place and probably at the right time. I just cant find the luck and the love at a moment. Although that Wednesday moment had struck my nerves in my heart, but still I need a lot of guts to catch up. Hopefully I get to meet this soul somewhere over the next few days. Or weeks. Or months. Or years???

15 Zulkaedah

Posted on Thursday, November 22,2007:

Highlight of the day was a girl who caught my eye. Wore the same red t-shirt and saw her during the practise cheer. Dunno which store she was from (suspected it was Woodlands Civic Centre?? or Woodlands Point??), but during my samba beat break with Jackie, she stared at me long (suspected she thinks im a mad guy whose sitting like an ah-pek hitting the floor with a plastic clapper). Managed to see her around the show (which continued the eye-contact) until the time when she just stand beside me, to walk past me..... Weird, but her beauty and cuteness just caught my eye. Didnt managed to catch her after the show and the bird flew away from my hands..

Im just feeling so sour that I didnt get the chance to know this girl because right after the Crew Rally, she's been apperaing in my dream. And every time I woke up, I just feel this very "sore loser" thing that makes me feel so desperate to find this particular lady. Even everytime I passed by a McD around Woodlands,Sembawang,Yishun,CCK, BP, Bukit Timah and Orchard area, I will always look around to see whether this particular lady is around. Dunno whether the feeling is call missing someone or love, but definitely the feeling is still young. Just wanna clear such feelings in my mind as I definitely have other things to do.

Tml day off..... Still wondering and pondering wat to do....

14 Zulkaedah

"Using initiative will bring you success, wthout initiatives, you'll have a stubling block"

Yesterday was my youngest sis's PSLE results. Alhamdulillah she got what she wanted. Although the aggregate of 191 is a low lying scoreline for Express stream, she is still happy with her results and so we are because we knew that she struggled so hard during her final primary school year. But what she didnt get is the good schools in woodlands. There are currently about 8 seconday schools in Woodlands. But where she can go for Express Stream are only 3 schools, mainly Christchurch Sec, Fuchun Sec and Siling Sec. I advised her to put Woodgrove and Woodlands Sec on the first two, even though their minimum aggregate is like a few marks above hers because sometimes you might never know there are a few vacancies left.

Was happy that England was eliminated(Eventhough the first page showed me wearing an ENgland kit). I felt that most of the England players are a bunch of ego-maniacs. Yesterday they played WITHOUT a single Manchester United players and they stupidly put the best midfield partnership of Carrick and Hargreaves on the bench. Even the commentators agreed to my thoughts."Hargreaves is the best player in the country right now and Carrick, his partner at Manchester United, is also as good as him,". They also left out Ashley Cole for the erratic and unfit Wayne Bridge. Played Crouch alone when they have Jermain Defoe and Darrent Bent on bench. And you cannot fucking leave Beckham on the bench when he's available. Eventhough he is 40, you must play him as he is one of the best crossers and set piece-takers in England. He is the only guy who can turn the game around when they are down. And they also left some of the best young players in England out. The likes of Gabriel Agbonlahor,Joe Hart, Micheal Johnson, Matthew Taylor, Steven Taylor, Ashley Young. Why England never gave chance to these young and hopeful players for the future?? They are a big bunch of egos and the trio or Gerrard, Lampard and Gareth Barry shouldn't be given a chance to represent England anymore. Coz they brought about England's downfall......

12 Zulkaedah

Quote from Sunday, November 18 2007:

There is this one particular girl from my friendster who left me a msg, stating that she is someone from my past. Im currently finding all my former pri sch mates (may it from Jin Tai or Qihua) so that we can keep in contact. So whoever this girl whose nick in friendster is Qusyairie Quraisyah, please do add me up in my msn or friendster. Btw, u can leave me a shoutout on my shoutbox. (I do really think that u were from my kindergarten class but dun wanna confirm, just guessing). Please do keep contact K??

The person is none other than Hanis, my former primary school mate. Actually not that close to her, but its a miracle she totally slipped out of my mind cuz usually I recognise the person by face.

Tomorrow's highlight is my younger sister's PSLE result. Hopefully she gets what she had wanted. Have to save my stash to treat her if everything goes well...

Sorry for the bold lettering entry. The laptop's is sounding like a constipated air-con now...