19 ZUlkaedah

SPF rejected my application today with a letter, stating that i am unsuccessful in my application. Its quite a setback for me, cuz initially i taught that with a diploma, i would easily get into the 2nd interview. But my thoughts aint right cuz I would think they would choose someone who is goin on in NS and also those people who have already ORD. So never mind, Im goin to try again and again when I'm still a government conscript.

People at TGM have already expressed the loss of me when I'm leaving next Tuesday onwards. So many friends have already strating to congratulate me and of course stating the loss of my presence in the kitchen and my joyful mood during work. I feel really sad leaving Mac after 4 years. Eventhough I stayed as Crew all these years, I think i learn quite a number of things, enough to be a Manager. I just love the working environment in Mac cuz Mac is a team based working environment. Means when colleagues are down, u come and make them happy. Also, Im beginning to miss many of the crew. The younglings in the weekends, the aunties in the morning, the funny Indian Crews at night and also the managers (esp the bosses i work with). All have different work attitude but the end of the day, we feel like we are one big family.

Im now starting to take things easy. Im currently going crazy and madly with a kid. She may be a young, innocent girl, but one can know how the feel of love at first sight. Im just waiting for the leading moments as soon as possible, but patiently. Cuz building a relationship out of nowhere needs careful decisions to make the love go strong. Till marriage. Till forever. Most people would give up their relationship at one setback, but a good relationship builds on trust, passion, chemistry and most importantly, to appreciate what each other are doin. Even though your friends might laugh at you for choosing a kid to be ur girlfriend, but in the end you will have the last laugh when she grows up to be a mature and understanding women.

Time to sleep. 4 more working days till I leave McDonalds. Bye bye Tanglin Mall. Bye bye colleagues. Hello HTA!!!

18 Zulkaedah

I swear its goin to be a very emotional NS for me for the next two weeks. Right now, I'm feeling visibily frustrated with everything that goes into my life and I just dunno who should I talk to. I feel that my life only exists in myself and that I am not important or significant to others. Even my closest friend do not know me by heart. Some people even go for the extra mile; taking me for granted.

Im living in a world where i always make people happy by partly solving their problems, be a listening ear. When most of my friends are down, I'm the person to cheer them up, doin everything to uppened their morale. But when they are happy or being granted their wish, they just left me behind all alone waiting for another helpless soul to tumble down the stairs and let me aid them.

I just dun get it. Why I keep making people happy when Im unsatisfied with my own life. EVery single decision I have done ends up in frustration. Frustrations after another. Envying other person's life one by one being happy. Why is life so unfair to me?? Tell me, what should I do to have all my wishes granted?? What should I do??

17 Zulkaedah

Its exactly 2 weeks before I start being a boy-turned-man. I will be starting my NS-hood soon and there seems to be so many things I haven't done before the dreaded day. Many of my work colleagues at Mac have started to ask about when I'm leaving cuz most of them might miss my prescence (and maybe my annoyance?). Also, I fear of not having the free time to spend with my love ones often as i will only be around on weekends. I will miss having the freedom at home whereelse at HTA you will only sit inside ur bunks when u are not doin any training. I will miss chatting where in HTA, there is no wireless network to contact. Mostly, I will miss socialising, where in HTA, u only socialise with ur bunk mates.

Finally after a week full of frustration, found the girl I was looking for. Somehow, I found her profile in one of my Mac friends. There she is and surprisingly she lives in Woodlands too. SHouldnt give too much details about her. All i can give is that.
- She is 17.
- She is working in one of Mac outlets in WOodlands.
- She probably lives around Marsiling area.
- She loves to wear contact lenses.
- She just finish her O Levels.
- She just went through a makeover.

Its a miracle that a makeover can change someone looks but never a personality. SHould do that one day to one of my sisters.

16 Zulkaedah

I'm just feeling bloody frustrated nowadays and it doesnt helps the cause when United suddenly lose to a bottom three team like Bolton. Bolton who were playing their strongest team, frustrated United, without four of their superstars, to a goal to nil. Capitalised in the 14th minute due to a Gerard Pique mistake. United never really got into the game, until Anderson came on in the 62nd minute. But its too late, although Tevez had the best and most agonising chance to level the scores, United fell to their 2nd league defeat. Worse comes to worse, their nearest challengers all won their games tonite and this puts United in the tightest spot.

I still cant get over that agonising Wednesday. If you see my previous three entries, it is about the same person. That same girl. That cute face and decent smile that touched my heart. And I cant help losing the chance to know that person(although I think Carlos Tevez must be feeling more frustrated than me). Im also beginning to hallucinate her image when I am alone. This isnt the feeling of loving someone. This is the feeling of infatuation. The feeling when you felt you could get something on but in the end, you just gave it a miss just because you think she isnt the right one.

I also cant help it buy feeling a big sense of envy towards some of their friends. Eversince raya passed, some of my friends are beginning to find love. Lets call it Love After Syawal, when you find love after going visiting with your friends. Somehow, you fell in love at the first sight with your friend's brother, sister, cousin, uncle. WHoever it is. I think some people are just plain lucky to find a suitable partner at the right place and probably at the right time. I just cant find the luck and the love at a moment. Although that Wednesday moment had struck my nerves in my heart, but still I need a lot of guts to catch up. Hopefully I get to meet this soul somewhere over the next few days. Or weeks. Or months. Or years???

15 Zulkaedah

Posted on Thursday, November 22,2007:

Highlight of the day was a girl who caught my eye. Wore the same red t-shirt and saw her during the practise cheer. Dunno which store she was from (suspected it was Woodlands Civic Centre?? or Woodlands Point??), but during my samba beat break with Jackie, she stared at me long (suspected she thinks im a mad guy whose sitting like an ah-pek hitting the floor with a plastic clapper). Managed to see her around the show (which continued the eye-contact) until the time when she just stand beside me, to walk past me..... Weird, but her beauty and cuteness just caught my eye. Didnt managed to catch her after the show and the bird flew away from my hands..

Im just feeling so sour that I didnt get the chance to know this girl because right after the Crew Rally, she's been apperaing in my dream. And every time I woke up, I just feel this very "sore loser" thing that makes me feel so desperate to find this particular lady. Even everytime I passed by a McD around Woodlands,Sembawang,Yishun,CCK, BP, Bukit Timah and Orchard area, I will always look around to see whether this particular lady is around. Dunno whether the feeling is call missing someone or love, but definitely the feeling is still young. Just wanna clear such feelings in my mind as I definitely have other things to do.

Tml day off..... Still wondering and pondering wat to do....

14 Zulkaedah

"Using initiative will bring you success, wthout initiatives, you'll have a stubling block"

Yesterday was my youngest sis's PSLE results. Alhamdulillah she got what she wanted. Although the aggregate of 191 is a low lying scoreline for Express stream, she is still happy with her results and so we are because we knew that she struggled so hard during her final primary school year. But what she didnt get is the good schools in woodlands. There are currently about 8 seconday schools in Woodlands. But where she can go for Express Stream are only 3 schools, mainly Christchurch Sec, Fuchun Sec and Siling Sec. I advised her to put Woodgrove and Woodlands Sec on the first two, even though their minimum aggregate is like a few marks above hers because sometimes you might never know there are a few vacancies left.

Was happy that England was eliminated(Eventhough the first page showed me wearing an ENgland kit). I felt that most of the England players are a bunch of ego-maniacs. Yesterday they played WITHOUT a single Manchester United players and they stupidly put the best midfield partnership of Carrick and Hargreaves on the bench. Even the commentators agreed to my thoughts."Hargreaves is the best player in the country right now and Carrick, his partner at Manchester United, is also as good as him,". They also left out Ashley Cole for the erratic and unfit Wayne Bridge. Played Crouch alone when they have Jermain Defoe and Darrent Bent on bench. And you cannot fucking leave Beckham on the bench when he's available. Eventhough he is 40, you must play him as he is one of the best crossers and set piece-takers in England. He is the only guy who can turn the game around when they are down. And they also left some of the best young players in England out. The likes of Gabriel Agbonlahor,Joe Hart, Micheal Johnson, Matthew Taylor, Steven Taylor, Ashley Young. Why England never gave chance to these young and hopeful players for the future?? They are a big bunch of egos and the trio or Gerrard, Lampard and Gareth Barry shouldn't be given a chance to represent England anymore. Coz they brought about England's downfall......

12 Zulkaedah

Quote from Sunday, November 18 2007:

There is this one particular girl from my friendster who left me a msg, stating that she is someone from my past. Im currently finding all my former pri sch mates (may it from Jin Tai or Qihua) so that we can keep in contact. So whoever this girl whose nick in friendster is Qusyairie Quraisyah, please do add me up in my msn or friendster. Btw, u can leave me a shoutout on my shoutbox. (I do really think that u were from my kindergarten class but dun wanna confirm, just guessing). Please do keep contact K??

The person is none other than Hanis, my former primary school mate. Actually not that close to her, but its a miracle she totally slipped out of my mind cuz usually I recognise the person by face.

Tomorrow's highlight is my younger sister's PSLE result. Hopefully she gets what she had wanted. Have to save my stash to treat her if everything goes well...

Sorry for the bold lettering entry. The laptop's is sounding like a constipated air-con now...

11 Zulkaedah

Finally got thetime to update my bloody blog that has been in hiatus for a week. The week has been one of the most eventful moments for this year.

Today was Crew Rally Day for McD which means McD in the whole of SG come down together gather to meet one another to bond together and also to enjoy the day together which is full of activities. This year it was held at Jurong East Sports Complex. A wrong move by my boss ( who put me into Cheerleading, which i definitely sucked), means I need to get there by 9 am. Worse comes to worse, i went out a lil early and ended up there at 8.35 am(Chinese Garden Station). The station was empty but i can see some red shirts( which is supposed my profit centre supposed to wear) roaming around the station, probably waiting for their colleagues to come down.

The crowd finally come ard at 9am but Boss still hasnt arrive yet. So the red shirts had filled the whole Chinese Garden MRT station and wat it looks like a riot march begin to move towards to J.E Stadium where we started our practise cheer(wasn't really keen on cheering, there4 i took the clappers and hit the floor and with my whistle stated to do samba beats which irritated some aunties in other coloured shirts.

Boss finally came at ard 10.30am with the other 3 crews who followed her all the way from Chinese Garden Stn. Had lunch first(not nice cuz the vege just cant find its way thru my gullet), before going into the sports hall for the big show.

Overall, the show put up by McD was fantastic but applause to the MC who really cracked me with his multilingual jokes and some RA jokes. Get to know a few ppl though from other stores. Meet up with friends whose stores I attached to before(Friends yes, chio bu's nope). During the last few hours i was getting really tired and dozing off when the MC ask us to do the YMCA which really woke me up and ended up in catterpillar which I ran around the hall like a mad dog and endedup slipping onto a cotton candy.

Highlight of the day was a girl who caught my eye. Wore the same red t-shirt and saw her during the practise cheer. Dunno which store she was from (suspected it was Woodlands Civic Centre?? or Woodlands Point??), but during my samba beat break with Jackie, she stared at me long (suspected she thinks im a mad guy whose sitting like an ah-pek hitting the floor with a plastic clapper). Managed to see her around the show (which continued the eye-contact) until the time when she just stand beside me, to walk past me..... Weird, but her beauty and cuteness just caught my eye. Didnt managed to catch her after the show and the bird flew away from my hands..

Meet Aisyah, our former crew at Swensens'. Manager sak already(actually she was an asst manager at McD before). She was like stunned to see me and Jackie, but of course we caught with old times with her, asking how's life and all. Still the same small, petite girl minus the wavy hairdo but nowadays still working around F&B outlets. Best thing the bike is getting bigger than her. Haha.... Harap dapat sign on TP, nnt aku bukak motor lagi besar dari kau!!! (Doakan laa boleh?)

Highlight for this week is spending 100 in one day.... Pay my hp bill plus a new 2GB SanDisk M2 card.... Woohoo!!

8 Zulkaedah

A tiring and long day at work, due to Mother Nature's fault for providing us zero visibility in the north and preventing the Malaysian crews from coming early to work. It also mean another overtime pay for me. But too much overtime can make me a very soft and broken boy.

Also, today I was planning to go and find the duck rice stall which I always frequent whenever I was free after school. Guess it was Mother Nature's fault again and also passing thru Lil India on a sunday can be quite painful in ur nostrils and also the buses from there are always ful.

I've always wanted to reform 7 Inches back asap as I miss writing the songs and jamming with the funny guys. Somehow, nowadays some of them are MIA and with that I want to show how I can mix NS life with social life. And also family life. EHEM!!

I'm always woken up with this particular dream about a blurred faced girl crying while pulling my hands asking me not to let go. Not once I dreamt of it, but this particular scenario often appears when I wanted to wake up from sleep. It often end up in a cuddle and a kiss on the forehead(which of cuz, i did it) and suddenly there is Mum waking me up from my sleep, suruh solat subuh.

There is this one particular girl from my friendster who left me a msg, stating that she is someone from my past. Im currently finding all my former pri sch mates (may it from Jin Tai or Qihua) so that we can keep in contact. So whoever this girl whose nick in friendster is Qusyairie Quraisyah, please do add me up in my msn or friendster. Btw, u can leave me a shoutout on my shoutbox. (I do really think that u were from my kindergarten class but dun wanna confirm, just guessing). Please do keep contact K??

7 Zulkaedah

Friday was so sickening at BPP. I was assigned to tend their desert kiosk, ended up didnt know friday was their most sickening day, the customers was like wolfpacks and their desert bar was in total disarray.

I had two accidents there... firstly, i spilled their sundae mix all over their DK cuz the machine just vibrated by itself and topple the container full of mix... Poor me, i was drench in sweetness(but foul smelling) white liquid on my groin and feet area..... And there was no oneto help until one of their crews came visiting and help me with the cleaning. The manager was like attending to me after 45 minutes!!! And the queue was like freaking long!!

Secondly, the metal plate which hold the oreo thingy fell on me.... And it came with a loud bang.... Again, no one attended to me... except a few crew ard me that helped me... After 15 minutes, all the manager came!!!

It was a jinxed experience for me... but somehow i think ppl have to work together and help... i dun have much problems going to other store, even when customers are filling in, but someone has just got to stand up there and unite the team to make BPP a better place.

Well, today im kinda intrigued by IKEA furnitures. Went to IKEA Tampines to accompany my friend buying a sofa bed and a table... I find IKEA furnitures cheap and nice designs. Feel like buying a reclining chair but after some thoughts, decided to keep the stash in my pocket and wait for some other time... Maybe after I got a house of myself???

5 Zulkaedah

Well, here im back again after working straight for weeks. Been tiring. Finally got an immediate offday from my workplace.

Well, a few weeks more before I will start my NS at HTA. Also waiting for my result to become a Police Officer. Hopefully I will get in as firstly there are so many benefits being one apart from basic benefits. Firstly all police officers will get a free Class 3 licence. Also if you want to become a traffic police more better, a motorbike licence. Not 2B but straight Class 2!! Haha, means can buy Valentini Rossi's bike and ram it down the roads. Maybe joining design groups... No? I look like a ganster more than I look like an officer.

Its been 4 months since I had my Chicken Pox that postponed my enlistment and miss my graduation, but I think that has been a blessing as it took me an opportunity to get close to some who before that I didnt know and also to know a few more others closer to home. Sadly, it has been a very boring time and Im looking forward to my enlistment on December 11.

1 Zulkaedah

Its been a busy week for me thses past few days. Cant believe its the end of Syawal already. But I still see many people wearing raya clothes, goin ard houses. Maybe gt birthday party kot?

Beginning to loathe to go to work nowadays, since i gave them resignation notice(4 Dec is my last day!!!). Working long hours used to be a favourite for me cuz since im $$ minded but nowadays i just feel the tiredness and the loathing to go to work. But whatever it is, i need to work to pay my bills.

My mood hasn't been well nowadays. I think maybe it is due to work and of cuz, the biggest problem i have nowadays is that im starved of socialisation. But i do go out sometimes, to Woodlands Library. But mostly I went out alone. Sometimes I do get envious looking at teens with big groups laughing around, joking. Especially those groups with gals, can't help missing my school days.

Im now awaiting NS and at the same time thinking about my future and what to do next. Planning for a Plan B soon (if SPF rejected me 3 times) and of cuz, I do need a love life. Im tired of hearing ppl saying, "ouh, your time will come.." But when?? Im waiting for 4 years. 4 fucking years to get back to my love life. When time will come?? Getting impatient you know...

Today while at CWP, saw green guitar girl with her lesbo partner. Fuck sia, I feel so disgusted seeing them. At the same time feel a bit pasrah too cuz how come a pretty girl like her give up so easily in love and become a lesbian. Isnt lesbian love considered love too?? World is getting so upside down. So i do pray for green guitar girl to repent her way. Pray so much that my neighbour, her lesbo partner will cheat her.... (Y am i such a sore loser.....) Hmm....

Need to socialise a while...... Get back some other time....

24 Syawal

The raya spirit has died down these few days and I dont even see anyone wearing their raya costumes again (except for those going to wedding dinners). Its been a long 24 days since lebaran arrived in our shores but i still listen to raya songs being played on the airwaves.

By the way, the Devils were 2 minutes away from their biggest truimph in this season before Gallas ruined them all. We were 1-1 and 10 minutes away from a stalemate till Ronaldo gave us the believe that we can still be the champions this season. But a scramble in the penalty box in the final seconds allowed a strayed ball from Gallas leg to spill over the line and means that we shared points with the gooners. It was a mutual heartbreak, but the draw was on our side, given that we still have to meet them at home later in the season.

What infuriates me is that the media often brings down the image of United. Stating that Arsenal can be champions or this draw sides Arsenal. Even Arsene Wenger said they played well, but the draw was not on their side. Tell you what, the Devils have been playing fantastic football since Sir Alex took over the reins of the gaffer in 1986. They have never finish below 3rd place since the Premiership started out 15 years ago. They have always been consistent frontrunners throughout the Premiership history. No one can ever write off Manchester United off the title this early in the season cuz its always us having the last laugh. SO to those anti-United fans, watch out what u have said anything stupid about our chances to the title, cuz its always us having the last laugh. We are going for the Treble this season!!!!!

21 Syawal

Its been 3 weeks since Raya came to shore, but still there are so many people going around visiting their relatives or friends.....

I like the spirit of Raya in SG. Unlike other countries, in SG, people are still wearing their traditional baju kurong during Raya season. Just a moment ago, I saw an RP malay girl wearing a kebaya to school. So much for the Raya spirit.

Went for SPF interview yesterday and it lasted the whole day. made some new friends there. Hopefully will get into Traffic Police as not only we'll get Class 3 Licence free but a direct class 2 will be given. Which means I will get to buy Valentino Rossi's bike... Woohoo.... Please pray that I will get into SPF.....

Went out with Diana yesterday to buy for her bro's present. Not that Im sibuk2 but she knows nuts about guitars and need my gidance. Finally bought a Congress acoustic guitar that is dark brown in colour. Also bought a Chord book for his brother to read up and to learn himself. Haha, I keep disturbing Diana cuz she always feel clueless whenever i suddenly change the subject of our conversation. And the way she reacted to it is so cute.. HAHAHA...
(To Diana: Sorry I made u lost, but u are really a fun person to talk to, especially the way you react..)